Raymond Nat Turner
Ida: Hello, Schmo
I’m the most powerful politician in the most powerful deliberative body in the most powerful country in the worldand who the hell are you?
Who the hell do you think I am, Mr. Muthafrakkker
Fossil Fuel-Big Pharma-errand boy?
I’m Ida, Sister of Sandy, Daughter of Katrina and
Alcohol, Geritol, protocol puppets like you don’t impress me…
What?! How’d you manage to get in here anyway? Get out now, or I’m calling the Capitol Police…
Ida: Capitol Police? You remind me of another reason I’m visiting 16 years to the day…All your crowing about body-armored,
bear spray-bearing, feeble-minded men “storming” Capitalist Hill January 6 insulted us!
Storms are more complex and simple than bunches of
wild Boer police/soldiers in lynch mob mode…
We’re traumatized survivors of corporate-caused climate catastropheThat’s why we kill…What’s your excuse, Schmo?
Why, you young cunt, you! You don’t come to Capitalist Hill and talk to a powerful man like me like that! Get out! Get out now, before I have the FBI frame you, ICE detain you and the CIA assassinate you before can say clean coal!
Your framers, detainers, assassins, bombs, missiles, drones, and submarines don’t frighten me. I knocked down 8 power lines and washed out 100 police cars on my way here…
You blasphemous bitch how dare you speak to a U.S. Senator like this! I’ll convene a bipartisan Senate Sub-Committee and get to the bottom of your bitchy behavior! Then I’ll plant stories in the Times, the Post, on FOXI’ll ruin your reputation! Why, your name’ll be mud by morning’s end!
Enough with the impotent threats enough with comedy that bombs and kills… fossil fool!
Enough with corny failed state slogans and cruel commands: “Build back better!” “Prepare for a month without power;” while you bomb, sanction and oversee $elections of bloodthirsty thugs across the globe!
Police, police…we have a credible crazyan Eco-Identity- Extremist-Terrorist threat… get up here ASAP now!
Quite the drama queen, heh, coal baron-Karen?
A few months ago you and your corporate pay-masters
could conceal carnage caused by blowing heads off mountains; ejaculating fracking fluid into groundwaters; and pumping pig shit into ponds near peoples’ homes…
Munchkin: The American people aren’t interested in your hysterical horse-faced lesbian commie rant! They have the Super Bowl;
NBA Finals; boxing; and superstar celebrities to worship! They have apple-orange GOAT debates! They have twenty-two types
of toothpastes and toilet tissues to think about! And, as well Ms Wet Thing, they get to vote every 2–4 years…
Senator Sleaze, you and your fossil fuel puppeteers have royally f’d this planet up! And now you’re scheming Space escapes; now you’re hunting other planets to plunder!
Your multibillionaire bosses better slow their roll maybe
take the time to snort a line or two of the Green New Deal…
Munchkin: Why, you wind-bagging wench, how many times must
I tell you… you don’t talk to a U.S. Senator like that?!
Ida: Gulf and east coast homes look like Palestinian apartment buildings struck by water-filled apartheid state missiles…
And the roads are rivers…
Munchkin: I knew it…you’re an anti-Semitean anti-Semitic storm!!
Ida: PLEASE, Your Slime-e-Ness, we’re dyed in the wool internationalists. That’s why we’re applying ‘Super Storm Sanctions’ to the U.S. …bet
you know a thing or two about how sanctions work: No break from Heartbreak…
Hey, maybe ‘the American people’ will rise like rivers and sweep your scurvy asses out to sea? Maybe they’ll spare the world eternal grief?
Ida: Oh, I’ll be back…No…my lil’ Sistars Serena and Simone; my lil’ brothers LeBron and Shaq will soon make landfall, serving, flipping, twisting, slamming and drenching this slow motion Disaster you call capitalism!
Munchkin: The Capitol Police are on their way…
Ida: Tell them to save their energy for bear spray-baton boys. I’m off to the War House to see the other Schmo! From there I’ll sweep over the White Supreme Court checking Strong-arm Williams’/Thom-ass Clarence’s Bassackwards Tribe Tom Talks…
Raymond Nat Turner is Black Agenda Report’s poet in residence and an accomplished performing artist. You can find much more of his work at upsurgejazz.com